Commentary by Doug Beattie This space is set aside for all the reporters in our little network of newspapers to wax poetic, philosophic, or however they want in 600 words or less. Some like to inform while others like to entertain. From lessons in public speaking to scribblings about Tim Horton’s place in Canadiana, readers get to know a different side to our writers. We flex different literary muscles and meander away from “he said, she said” to give the reader a glimpse of the world as we see it, away from the newspaper. This is hard for me to do. When faced with writing an opinion editorial, I employ the theorem WWFD –  what would Fotheringham do? As Canada’s preeminent political columnist, I don’t try to compare with him to write politics, but rather to emulate his sharp, witty repartee. It’s akin to a budding radio talk show host trying to reproduce the magic that Charles Adler creates with his afternoon banter. Am I doing a good job? Let’s just say that I have a lot left to learn. To this point, you have learned that I enjoy intelligent discourse but where else will this monologue lead? I could expound on my boyhood crush on my Grade 9 language arts teacher (hi, Miss Kugelstadt) or explain why I feel it necessary to eat my Tic Tacs in even numbers (it’s all about balance). Clearly, I’m no Dr. Foth. He would never jump all over the place in a column as I have in this one but, at the same time, he has probably never written about his disdain for the Juno Awards. In an effort to raise the show’s profile, producers managed to secure the world’s most popular female recording artist, Nelly Furtado, to host it. Learning from past horrors, this year’s show would feature less actual award-giving and more music performances. The gala was advertised heavily on CTV as the network tried hard to impart importance to the largely ignored event. So, how did it go? Well, it seems CTV thinks more of its ratings that Canadian content because the show was tape delayed throughout much of the country. In fact, the majority of Canadians had to wait for the show to start because CTV was simulcasting CBS’s episode of The Amazing Race. Obviously, the Junos cannot realistically compete in raw numbers with The Amazing Race but by making viewers wait after hyping the event as they did, CTV shot itself in the foot. It’s too bad that the musicians have to be the ones to suffer. I cheer for Canadian (some) musicians because I am one. It may pale in comparison to the Grammy Awards, but it’s all we have to honour our homegrown artists. It sucks that they have to play second fiddle to America’s televised take on Around the World in 80 Days. It’s worth noting that I think Furdado’s installment as host was a hindrance rather than a help. I won’t go into what I thought about some of the musical acts for fear of losing control and entering into a diatribe on what passes for music these days. It is conceivable that with the passage of time, I am becoming so stubborn and inflexible that I may threaten to outlive my usefulness. Writing “he said, she said” holds no room for opinions but in situations where I can voice mine, my obstinance is often made abundantly clear. I may hold to the (perhaps incorrect) notion that I am always right, but when you’re this big, they call you mister. I’m just kidding. Nobody calls me mister.

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