No second chance opportunities for these guys

Commentary by Joe McWilliams
Lakeside Leader

I admit it. I watch a lot of hockey during the NHL playoffs. I slouch on the couch, eat my supper off the coffee table and get no exercise whatsoever.

Besides being entertained by some great hockey and seeing my pool predictions suffer, I form opinions about the broadcasters.

To state my bias right off the top, I have very little patience for the ones who mangle the English language or consistently mispronounce players’ names.

To put it mildly, some are better than others. If I were in charge, I’d send Pierre Maguire of TSN packing immediately. I would have done it years ago. Greg Millen, the former goalie and CBC colour commentator gets the boot too. He’s just not good enough for CBC’s high standards. He still can’t pronounce ‘Varlamov’ properly. Didn’t say it right once when I was listening. In spite of Bob Cole saying it correctly (more or less) the whole time, Millen persisted with ‘Valarmov’ throughout.

Get rid of the guy, or at least send him back to school.

Maguire, in spite of his commendable enthusiasm, annoys me no end. Even before he invented the ridiculous ‘second chance opportunity,’ he was getting tiresome. Now that he’s taken redundancy to a whole new level somebody really should let him know about it. And how about his ‘aerializing’ the puck? As Bugs Bunny said, ‘What a maroon!’

Colour commentary is a tough job, I have no doubt. The only time I tried it, I froze in front of the microphone and lost the job in a matter of seconds.

But being an ex-player is not even close to being an adequate credential. Millen is a good example of that and so is Dave Reid, who was working the world championships. Both knowledgeable guys, but not very good at expressing themselves.

Dick Irvin was great for CBC when he worked with Danny Gallivan at Montreal games back in the day. He combined deep knowledge of the game with refreshing eloquence. Apparently they don’t make them like that anymore.

One problem is the format demands that these guys say something.

Often they don’t have anything particularly interesting or intelligent to say. But they have to, so they jaw away anyway.

Somebody I do like (although he doesn’t work the games) is Mike Milbury, the former Bruins’ player and Islanders exec who CBC recently swiped from TSN. He’s candid, funny, knowledgeable and able to express it in a punchy fashion without breaking too many rules of the lingo. I admire that in a guy and I think getting him was a real coup for the Canadian Broadcorping Castration.

An example of what I like about Milbury: ‘Don’t give goalies credit for ‘great saves’ when all they did was let the puck hit them,’ he said to Ron McLean and Kelly Hrudey on a recent CBC broadcast. ‘They get paid to do that. Call it a great save when they actually have to move to stop it.’

Attaboy, Mike. Cut right through the crap.

Milbury is my pick to replace Don Cherry on Coach’s Corner, and probably sooner rather than later.

Not that I’m any expert. My hockey pool picks are in the mid-600s and sinking, so obviously I don’t know what I’m talking about.

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