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Looking back in time: children really do grow up too fast
Susan Thompson
for Smoky River Express
My new job here at the Express is actually the first full-time job I’ve held outside my home since my nine-year-old daughter was born.
As feminist as I proudly am, I’ve been a pretty traditional Mom. After I finished university and gave birth to my first daughter Trinity at the age of 21, I stayed home while my husband worked.
I still found other ways to keep my resume up-to-date and hang out in adult company by doing a lot of volunteer work. I got into freelance writing to teach myself the journalism trade, the groundwork for the job I have now. I’ve also run a welding company for five years now with my husband.
But everything I’ve done before now was never a question of getting up in the morning and going to another place for a full work day, regularly, five days-a-week.
My girls Aurora and Trinity are eight and nine now (and in Grades 3 and 4 already, I can’t believe it) so it’s a great time to go to work on my own. I get a sense of satisfaction from having a job, and I hope a long career, that I care about. I love to write. I’ll never get tired of working with words. It’s also really interesting to talk to people from all walks of life in the community every week. Better yet, I feel like I’m putting my English degree to good use. I’m grateful every day to have a job I can put my heart into.
The people I get to work with are another great part of my day. We’re such a small staff here, we have to be pretty close. Not saying we never butt heads, but it already feels like a family, so much so my editor Emily and I often get mistaken for sisters. That’s an unexpected bonus of the job.
Still, on some mornings it’s bitter sweet. I remember getting up in the morning, watching TreeHouse on TV, and playing with my baby daughters. Despite the omnipresent housework, I had lots of time to pay attention to them. We could cuddle, or play with their toys. I could read them rhymes and stories. I could blow raspberries on their tummies and feed them snacks. They were never too busy for me or embarrassed by the attention.
These days, I see my girls less and less. We have breakfast and then it’s off to the bus, while I’m off to work. At night we’re busy with the hustle and bustle of getting homework done and making dinner. I might have to cover events for the Express, while my husband tucks the girls in and reads them a story.
On weekends more often than not they’ve got sleep overs or play dates planned, or I’ve got things of my own to do. There just never seems to be enough time together, even if we try to make time for board games and movies and other family activities.
Above all, they’re not babies anymore. Sometimes they’re too busy for me, or too grown-up for my attention.
More and more, I’m realizing I’ll never get those old times back. Instead, it’s onward toward the future. Soon I’ll be dealing with teenagers. Then one day, my kids will move out and I’ll have to trust that they can handle their own lives. I now they’ll always need me, but I’ll still miss them, like all Moms (and Dads) eventually do.
Of course, I don’t need to worry about dirty diapers anymore either, or those seemingly endless sleepless nights.
Sometimes, though, I’d give just about anything to hold my babies in my arms again, just one more time.
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