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When should teens have sex?
Emily Plihal
for Smoky River Express
I honestly never though I would talk about sex in the newspaper. However; a mom recently approached me asking me to write an opinion article on teens having sex.
First of all I want to make it clear that I DO NOT agree with teens having sex.
The mother approached me about three weeks ago, and thought that I would have some insight on why teenagers feel the need to rush into a sexual relationship. The truth is... I do not know.
She explained that her daughter has approached her a few times saying, “What would you do if I came home pregnant?” or other questions about intercourse. She said when she questioned her teenaged daughter about why she was asking these questions, the daughter replied that many of her 13 or 14 year old friends had already lost their virginity.
The mother explained she sat her daughter down and gave her a run through of sexual education, including a breakdown of STDs and why sex should be kept for her spouse or long-term partner.
In the past couple of weeks, since this mother spoke to me, I have questioned other parents of teens and have yet to find a solid answer or explanation.
All the parents I talked to were (obviously) tremendously terrified when I asked the question, “How would you feel if your child lost his/her virginity at 13 years of age?”
We’d be kidding ourselves if we thought individuals having sex at a young age was a new thing. After all, 40 years ago young women were shipped away for nine months for a reason.
Is it right? All I can offer is my very biassed opinion of what I think, whether it’s right or wrong is up to your judgement.
I think in modern times teenagers are more comfortable with sexuality. They see sex on movies, commercials, television programs, and even in magazines.
Billboards proudly display pictures of intimate poses, meant to promote the use of whatever type of condoms.
Unfortunately, despite parents concerns about their children abstaining, they will likely experience sex before they are truly ready. So, how do we ensure our children are educated without promoting them having sex? What a huge question to entertain!
My thoughts surround ensuring they are educated about safe sex. If they are going to have sex, and there is no possibility of dissuading their forwardness of the subject, ensure they are protected.
Make sure your daughter is on birth control and has a knowledge of condoms. Sons and daughters should be made aware of diseases that are sexually transmitted and can potentially be deadly.
Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, AIDS, HIV... explain to them exactly what they could be attracting by having multiple partners.
I was watching a documentary on television just after I talked to the mother about a woman who started having sex when she was 12. This woman was completely distraught because not only had she had a multitude of partners in her life, she had taken the virginity of many young boys throughout her days.
Perhaps teenagers have to see these type of documentaries to understand sex is a special, intimate, soul-engaging “activity” which is far more special when in a loving relationship. By loving, I do not mean the lust-relationship in Junior High, I mean a committed, life-long relationship.
Understand the consequences, understand how much of yourself you are giving to someone you do not love, and understand you are too young to deal with the consequences. You cannot properly take care of a child when YOU are still a child. Understand motherhood/fatherhood is a possibility when having sex, even with protection.
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