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Commentary: How can we improve our relationships?
Commentary by Emily Plihal
for Smoky River Express
My first memories as a child always involve my family closely working together to establish great relationships.
I do not remember many times throughout my childhood when we were not allowed to partake in adult gatherings. We were generally told to stay quiet and mind our “P’s and Q’s”, but we were always involved in adult conversations.
In my mind, we were able to establish better communication skills because we were able to talk with those who had experience in all walks of life.
As I observe people at different social gatherings, I always question what type of upbringing others had.
I am a firm believer that communication is key to making any type of relationship work. Although I do not always follow my own advice, I believe we should not pussy-foot around issues, we should be relatively blunt about feelings and ideas, and we should be completely upfront about what is going on in our lives.
My main concern about modern-era families is the lack of time spent focussing on each other.
Maybe I’m way out of line to say that I do not believe families spend enough time with one another, and I’m sure it’s not the family’s way of ignoring their siblings/parents/etc.
Every person I know has an extraordinarily busy life, and often times they work six or seven days each week just to make ends meet.
What I miss is the quiet time I used to have with my family, and I wish time would permit me to have that intimate time with those I care about.
Each weekend we would gather together to play board games, cards, or just take walks or play outside with one another.
During those moments, we were able to discuss the week’s turmoil and iron out the problems we had through that time.
Now it seems, though, that children would rather play some type of computerized game than spend valuable time with their family.
I could never criticize the parents outwardly for this behaviour. I think part of the problem lies in the parents having to work extensive hours to provide a comfortable lifestyle.
I am always impressed when I see a family walking down the street with one another. Their love is quite apparent as they talk about basic things. The parents show expressively at every opportunity how important their children are.
So how do we return to the days when family could be the star focus in our lives?
I have a friend who recently had a baby tell me, “Emily, I am a nerd now. I spend every waking moment with my little girl, and although I have to go back to work soon, I don’t want to. I would rather raise my child and be able to see her every second of her life.”
I thought that statement fully encompassed the concern I have with modern employment. We are all so enveloped in our work, that it has become out of the question for only one individual in the family to work.
How do we work around the limited time? I think putting aside an hour each day to sit with those you love would be a great start. Even if it is just at supper time, that one precious hour can re-establish a solidly structured relationship.
It would be ignorant of me to say that only one family member should work. Life is far too expensive for only one income to sustain basic necessities.
The relationships we establish in our lifetime is our legacy. It is crucial to build solid foundations and lifelong companions. Without friends and family what would we be?
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