Spotlight: Family is vital for everyone
Theresa Seraphim
for Spotlight
All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. – Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
This coming Monday is Family Day.
As I understand it, the idea of this holiday is to have a day off school or work, and get together with one’s kin to have fun.
For some, that’s something to anticipate; for others, such holidays (and we could include Thanksgiving and Christmas in the list) are sources of dread.
Not everyone will be with relatives on that day, of course, but it might be a good time to think about family and what it means.
The family is society’s most basic unit.
It is the place where, ideally, one can be supported in weathering life’s storms and can be encouraged in one’s accomplishments. It is the place where, ideally, one can be oneself, with one’s abilities, foibles, and feelings.
Of course, I say “ideally”, because we all know that in many families, the above doesn’t happen.
We know there is no such thing as the perfect family. We know our relatives drive us to distraction (and then try to get out of paying for the gas).
Still, whoever they are and whatever they may do, they are our relatives.
That is not to excuse inappropriate behaviour, but to say that each of us is called to be that support for our kinfolk when they need it.
There is a reason each of us has been born into a particular family, and that is that there is something to be learned by whatever clan we are a part of. Maybe the lesson is in how to overcome dysfunction and stand on one’s own.
Maybe it’s in appreciating the good deeds and the great accomplishments one’s kin has done. Maybe it’s in how to support those who are struggling.
Whether our family situation has been smooth or rough, we have been given to one another.
We are who we are because of our family. That can be tough – as Fred Allen observed, “I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap” – and it can be good at the same time.
Once we come to appreciate that, we can see what Dodie Smith meant when she said, “The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.”
This is because, in a world where there’s little encouragement and lots of judgment, those tentacles keep us connected to one another. And, unlike the quixotic behaviours of our relatives, THAT’s what really matters.
Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~Author Unknown
< Previous
Home
Next >
|
